Category: real life

Conquering the Chaos

So, yeah, it’s been a while since I posted. A while. Um, it wasn’t deliberate. Really. I didn’t intend to fall off the edge of the map. I just sort of got bogged down in…stuff. Some of it was school stuff. Some of it was starting-a-new-job stuff. Some of it was “life sucks” stuff with a side of personal disaster…but I’m pleased to report that it’s better now. Much better. So much better, in fact, that the improvement can really only be appreciated by me. (And the close group of friends that got me through it. Thanks, friends. I owe you.)

Now the semester is over, the new job is going well, and I’m a much happier person. I’ve slacked on the writing and the revising lately, so I intend to remedy that ASAP. The new story idea is in need of some mulling-over and some research (ancient Egyptian religion, anyone?). The faerie story, whose revision I stopped mid-stream, needs some TLC. And my personal view of myself and my place in the world is going through a slight…re-focusing. To aid in this last, I found a really cool website to help me keep track of my goals. And also this other one, that makes my soul-searching so much more…deep.

So, yeah. That’s what I’ve been up to.

When Words Aren’t Enough

Emotional catharsis comes in a lot of forms. Runners log miles. Artists throw themselves into their paintings. Writers….write. For me, writing has always been a catharsis, whether it’s journaling or immersing myself in a story. Whatever I’m feeling, I pour it into the writing. Anger. Frustration. Despair. Joy. Hope. All of those go into the writing. One of my favorite writing quotes (from Red Smith) is “Writing is easy. I just open a vein and bleed.” This statement is so true. So very true. I think better on paper, whether “paper” is actually paper, or a computer screen or text message. Verbalizing things…I’m not so good at. I don’t like confrontations. I don’t like arguments. I despise drama. It’s more difficult for me to get my point across if I’m emotionally involved in the situation. That’s why I turn to words. They’ve been my salvation many times.

But what happens when words aren’t enough? When there are things you want to say, so many things, but you don’t get a chance to say them? Maybe you were never given the opportunity to actually say the words. Maybe words—or a lack of them—are actually part of the problem in the first place. Maybe a situation escalated because you were never told what was going on, and without that knowledge, it felt like something totally different was occurring. If you’d had the words, the situation never would have happened in the first place.

It’s hard enough to put words to what is actually occurring in your own life. If you’re on the outside of someone else’s life, and you’re never given any hints as to what they’re going through, choosing the wrong words is inevitable. Wrong words = misunderstandings and hurt. They can cut like a knife in an instant, and do damage that will never heal. Or they can drive a wedge between two people that will never disappear. But the right words can heal anything.

Motivation Waning…

So, I just started the new job this week. I like it, but I’m having a hard time adjusting to 1) having to get up and go to work, and 2) having to get up at 4:15 IN THE MORNING. Yeah. That’s proving to be a big adjustment. Who knew having three months off would turn me into a sleeping-late kind of person?

Clearly, trying to adjust to a work schedule AND the time change has made for a rough week. I haven’t done anything writing-related all week. Heck, I’ve barely managed to function on a day-to-day level (Sad, really.), much less actually be coherent. (FYI being too tired to even check my email for two days resulted in approximately 100 emails, half of which I deleted without opening, and about three times that much spam. Really? Do I really need THAT many advertisements for Viagra? Is somebody out there trying to tell me something? Okay, Universe, I’ll pass the message along.) So, now that I have three days off, I’m trying to get some writing things done, namely revisions and lessons one and two of How to Write a Series. I’m not saying it’s working, but I’m trying.

Other than that, I’ve got nothing. Except…I really hate when people don’t think about how their actions affect other people. Or their lack of action, either one. Really, people? You’re not the only one on this planet. Other people need certain things, too. Think of someone besides yourself!….Deep breath….Okay. That is all.

Spring Fever

I’m ready for spring. I know the weather has been very spring-like for the last few weeks, but I’m ready for full-fledged, official spring. I always get spring fever. Every year. When the weather gets warm, I want to be going somewhere, doing something. It doesn’t even matter what. Just something. I love the Texas wildflowers in springtime, too. The Indian paintbrushes and the bluebonnets that bloom along the roadside are my absolute favorite flowers, and they are one of the things I missed when I lived out of state, so I’m really looking forward to seeing them this year.

Unfortunately, I’m also easily distracted in the springtime. That makes writing a little more difficult. Even sitting here right now, with the window open, I can hear the birds singing, and I find myself listening to that instead of writing. I guess that’s a sign I need to start working on writing discipline a little harder again. My daily word count goal isn’t much, but sometimes it’s a struggle, and sometimes I find myself rambling a bit. Part of that is that I’m down to the last third of the MS. Part of it is I’ve got another story idea growing in my mind, and the lure of something new and shiny is distracting the Muse. (And telling the Muse to focus apparently doesn’t work, either. I’ve tried.) Any suggestions for staying on target are welcome!

Blah

You know those weeks where it feels like the whole world just exploded on your head for no apparent reason? Where everything goes wrong, or everything just feels wrong? Yeah. I’m having one of those weeks. Not sure why. On the surface, things seem to be going (mostly) okay, but my attitude just sucks lately.

The revisions on the faerie story are going pretty well. Not fantastically well or anything, but, well, revisions are hard. I’m still getting bits of writing done every day. Not a lot, but enough to make me happy. And the Muse is still tinkering around with the new story idea. I have almost a full page of random notes on it, although some of them seem to be a bit…fragmented. The story, or parts of it, keep waking me up in the middle of the night, which is a very good sign.

Hopefully I’ll get out of my blue funk and be much cheerier, well, as cheery as I ever get, soon.

Sunshine!

For the first time since Monday, the sun was shining today. And instead of the measly 42 degrees it was supposed to hit, we topped out near a balmy 60. So the snow/ice is almost all melted away…thankfully. It was nice to get out of the house for a change. I mean, I like being home, but I like the option of being able to go somewhere, too! On the upside, I did get a lot accomplished this week. On the downside, none of that was revisions. Guess what’s on the agenda for later? There’s supposed to be a chance for “wintry mix” tomorrow, so it’s good that everything melted off today. At least we had a chance to thaw out before the next wave hits.

And also, “skating” around waving my arms wildly while I try to catch my balance on the way to the mailbox…is not my idea of a good time. Just saying.

…Brrrr…..

Okay, so, in hindsight, New Orleans is looking….awfully warm and toasty right now. It’s 14 degrees here. Fourteen actual degrees. Not with the windchill. It was 8 degrees when I got up this morning. So I found myself wondering why I’d chosen to move back here from the tropics of southeast Louisiana…Well, there are several reasons, but they sort of paled into insignificance when I considered them this morning. All the schools have been shut down the last two days, and they’ll be closed again tomorrow. This means I won’t be taking my scheduled History test just yet, so, yay! More time to study. (Finding the motivation to actually study is another thing….)

This also means more time to read, which is always a good thing. Reading while sipping something hot is even better. I’m actually reading an e-book right now called The Splendor Falls, by Rosemary Clement-Moore. So far….excellent read. I’m enjoying it a lot. It’s the first e-book I’ve actually bought. And by that I mean that I have several e-books that were available for free (not that I’ve actually, ahem, finished reading any of them…). I don’t actually have an e-reader, but I have the free software versions on my PC and my phone. After this, I might decide to buy an e-reader. I like the instant gratification of having the book immediately available. That’s very nice.

I also finished lesson 4 of HTRYN. Started reading lesson 5, and plan to start on it tonight after I do a little bit of homework. (And studying. Yeah. Studying.) I’ve been doing steady daily writing on the 2YN2 story, about 500 words a day. Not much, but steady progress, so I’m happy with it. The Muse is still playing with the other story idea, and I’ve even jotted a few random fragments of ideas down. Hopefully that will be coalescing into something more coherent soon. I’m really in the mood to write a more traditional fantasy, instead of the urban fantasy of late.

I’m off to get some work done. And try not to freeze to death. And drink something warm (and possibly alcoholic)….

Where’d the Week Go?

Seriously. How is already Saturday night? The week’s over, and I’m not really sure what I accomplished this week. Let’s see…I remember doing homework. More homework. And yes, MORE homework. That’s an awful lot of school work, especially since I can’t remember what else I did this week. *thinking….thinking*….Hmm. I wrote two book reviews for Examiner.com. Read a few books (the first four books in Michelle Sagara’s Chronicles of Elantra series. Really enjoying them.) Ah….what else? I can’t think of anything else. That’s just…ridiculous. Oh! I did get some writing done. Yes. About 3500 words this week. I know it’s not a lot, but it’s steady writing every day, and that’s my main goal.

My Muse is working on a new story idea. I can feel it! I should probably be writing some of the details she throws at me down. Things are coming together. I have a vague idea of a character, well, two, and the main conflict, so that’s cool. The setting is coming together, too, and it should be something radically different than I’ve ever written before. I’m actually starting to get really excited about the idea, but I’m trying not to rush my Muse. Bad idea, that.

No revisions done this week. Which gives me…two days to finish Lesson 4 of HTRYN. Guess I need to get on that, huh? Okay. I’m off to do more homework. Two exams next week, and some essay questions that are waiting for my attention (Not the kind of writing I enjoy. At all.) And I’ll have another book review up tomorrow.

Yankee Standard Time: Fact or Fiction?

Okay, Random Question for the Day: Do Yankees run on a different time schedule than we Southerners? I’m starting to think so. A certain person who shall remain nameless has apparently been trying to drive me crazy with the differences in our concepts of time.

Example 1: “I’ll call you back in a few minutes.” The callback actually occurs:
a) half an hour later
b) three hours later
c) Still waiting…

(Yes, all of these are correct answers.)

Example 2: “I’ll give you a call when I get up on Sunday, and we’ll spend the whole day together.”
a) The call doesn’t actually take place until, oh, 3 p.m. So, apparently, the day in Yankeeland doesn’t start ’til 3 p.m. Good to know, if you’re ever traveling there….Don’t make plans before mid-afternoon. Nothing will be open. Just a bit of travel advice.

Example 3: “We’ll get together very soon.”
a) “Soon” being…well, I don’t know when. That conversation took place on Friday. It’s Monday, and still nothing. Do you think this definition of “soon” would work for deadlines or school? “So, Professor, I promise I’ll have this final exam turned in soon.”….Like, next week? “Yes, Mr. Very Important Editor, I know I said I’d have the piece turned in soon. That was just last week. I still have plenty of time.”

Somehow, I don’t think the Southern standard of “Bless your heart!” is gonna cover this…at all.

So…on to writing. I did actually make it through the entirety of Lesson 3 in HTRYN last week when I said I would. Yay! I’m even about halfway through with Lesson 4, which is even better. I have plenty of revision ideas, too, I can feel them simmering…

Speaking of simmering, I’m pretty sure my Muse is working on a new story idea. Something that’s more traditional fantasy, instead of the urban fantasy I’ve been writing lately (like, for the past two years…). Something with ghosts, and maybe the Dia del Muerta… It feels like a nice change, and to go along with it, I started reading Michelle Sagara’s Chronicles of Elantra series. Just got started on the first one, but I’m liking the touches of humor so far.

Revision Block

Is there such a thing? If so, I have a raging case of it. It’s worse than staring at a blank page and being unable to think of a single word to write (although that’s pretty bad). A few weeks ago, I started working through HTRYN with Chasing Shadows. Lessons 1 & 2 weren’t bad, but Lesson 3….all I’ve done is read the lesson and punch holes in my index cards. Not exactly a hotbed of revision activity.

I’m not sure why I’m having such trouble getting started on this. Well, I DO tend to have issues with The Sentence, even if it’s The Revision Sentence, so that could be part of it. But that’s the only hazy idea I have for what’s going on mentally. I’d say it’s lack of motivation, but…I’ve been writing every day. Only a bit, but still, daily progress. And I’ve been doing some pre-reading for school. And working out almost every day. So clearly I have some motivation.

I have absolute faith in the HTRYN process. I know what it did for Werewolves for Dummies, and I have every faith it can take Chasing Shadows that much closer to the story I want it to be. Of course, it won’t do that if I don’t actually apply it, so there’s the general problem with that idea. Hmm…Could be fear of failure. Of course, not revising the story at all is even more clearly a failure, so that should be an incentive…

Okay. Tomorrow I intend to work through Lesson 3 of HTRYN. ALL of Lesson 3. And get a few words written, of course. Wish me luck!