Blessings

Do you ever have one of those days where you think your life sucks, that the Universe is out to get you, that you just can’t catch a break? Where everything that can go wrong, does, and you spend the rest of the day sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, muttering Oh, woe is me! and practically wearing sackcloth and ashes? Those days suck. I hate those days.

I’m usually an optimistic person. I do tend to worry about some things, but I am also firmly of the belief that What Is Meant To Be, Will Be (without any worrying from me), and that God has everything under control (and He clearly doesn’t need my help in running things). So. I try not to worry about stuff. Sometimes, though, sometimes I get a little overwhelmed. I start thinking how I wish I made more money ’cause it seems like I’m always broke, and hey, I’d really, really like to be able to buy any random book that catches my eye on Amazon, or a cute pair of boots, or maybe a CD (The soundtrack to Book of Eli HAS to be an awesome writing CD, ’cause the music was fabulous.). Or how much I miss my best friend (still back home in Texas) and her two kids, and how it sucks that all my super close friends live at least 600 miles away. Or that I wish my two brothers and I lived closer together. I start thinking all this, and then I get a little bit down.

And then I see something on the news about the earthquake victims in Haiti, and how they don’t have food or water or shelter and a lot of them are still trapped in the rubble, and I realize something: You know, I have a GREAT life. A really great life. I may not have a lot of extra cash (or any, sometimes), but I have food and water and a place to live and a job that pays my bills (mostly). I don’t have to walk around naked (Thank God!) or in rags. I’m not trapped somewhere, suffering and in pain. Yeah, I miss my friends, but we still keep in touch all the time. And I’ve made some great new friends here. I do miss my brothers, but again, we keep in touch, and I should be seeing them soon. And then I start thinking about how crappy it was of me to complain about my life when so many people have it SO MUCH WORSE! (This is usually followed by me mentally beating myself up for being an ungrateful wench, but that’s a story for another day.)

Yes, I did have this major epiphany a couple of days ago. But epiphanies don’t always have to be huge and life-encompassing. Last night, I was working on the newest lesson of HTRYN. I struggled majorly with last week’s lesson, but finally got through it. This week… looks to be another struggle, although hopefully not as large. But I was reading through the message boards, feeling sorry for myself about how much work the werewolf story needs when I came across a post from a person whose first draft was 758,000 words. Wow. Can you imagine? I can’t. And Witches came in at 300k at the end of the first draft (Down to 180k now, thank you very much!). But 758,000 words? My blood ran cold at the very thought. The amount of effort it took to write that takes my breath away. And when I think of how much work it will be to edit…

I am SO blessed.

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