Tag: blank page

Vacation Needed

I’ve decided to give myself a little vacation. A mental vacation, actually. I feel like I’m on the verge of one of those burnouts where I can’t focus on anything and give up on everything, so it’s best if I put some things on the back-burner for the next 5 weeks or so (until the semester is over). There’s too much going on, and I can’t seem to focus. I can’t afford to let school slide–or work–so it has to be writing.

I’ve been trying to get to work on How to Think Sideways and Holly’s Motivation class, but I keep getting busy with other stuff, then stressing over not doing the writing stuff, so until I finish out the semester, I’m giving myself permission to not write. I still intend to blog some, but my brain can’t handle anything else right now.

When the semester is over, and I have no school work to distract me, I’ll tackle HTTS, the motivation class, and probably HTRYN as well, for a solid 3 months. Until then, I’m just going to hang onto my GPA–and my mind. (Maybe write some free verse poetry in there, too.)

Perfection is Overrated

I just found myself writing a discussion board post for one of my classes about my experience in writing. How do you encapsulate 10+ years of experiences into 200-300 words?  Badly and inadequately, probably.

I’ve been writing for over 10 years. Some days, it feels like I’m getting nowhere. Some days, when I can’t find the time or the energy to write, I am getting nowhere. But when I think of how far I’ve come, of how much I’ve learned and improved over that time, I realize that I am actually making progress. No, I’m not published (yet), but I’m improving and growing as a writer, and that’s really something.

When I started, I seriously thought I’d never have another story idea in my life. Now, with 10-12 complete (first draft) manuscripts, and at least that many more story ideas, this thought makes me laugh. Of course I’ll have more story ideas! My technique has improved by leaps and bounds (Thank you, fellow Silver Griffins!). I no longer write fiction with the equivalent of a kindergartener’s ability. I can recognize other writers’  tricks of the trade. My voice is developed, and I know where my strengths are. But I have a lot left to learn.

I’m not perfect, but I’m better. And I will continue to improve.

Renewing my (Writing) Vows

So, yeah, I’ve pretty much dropped off the radar for the past few months (Off the radar, off the planet, either way…). I’ve been busy, yes. School and work can be pretty overwhelming, definitely, but my disappearance has just as much, if not more, to do with laziness. I just haven’t felt like doing a lot of things. I want to fix that, though.  Get my sh*t together. Get back in the saddle. You know, the usual pronouncements.

This week has been spring break for me, so I’ve tried to rest a lot. With my new set of classes gearing up to start on Monday, I’ll be super busy again, but I’m not afraid to tackle a towering to-do list (Ha! I do tend to over-commit, true.). I laugh in the face of busyness! I may end up curled in a ball, whimpering, but I do have a plan. Eight more weeks of classes, then no school until mid-August. And there are so many writing projects I want to tackle this year! (Drafting, revising, polishing, all are on this list.)

I can get this accomplished. I have priorities.

Work. School. Training for my Grand Canyon Rim to Rim hike in May. Holly Lisle’s motivation class (SO needed.). Re-taking How to Think Sideways with this year’s only class. Blogging. Oh, yes, and sleep. I can juggle all of that, right? Right?!

The Muse has been Blocking Me

I haven’t done any writing for the last couple of weeks, and yesterday I realized why:  I’m not happy with my setting/society in The Fall.  It’s a dystopian zombie story (although the zombies are more of a side note than anything), and my society seemed too bland and smooth. It’s been bothering me for a while–I have a few handwritten notes about it–but I read a couple of books last week that sort of solidified my feelings about it, so now I have a better grip on what needs to be changed before I get any further in. The setting is very important for this story, and the society is part of that, so I think that’s why I’ve been having problems writing lately:  The Muse wasn’t feeling it.

However, the Muse is quite happy with the stream-of-consciousness thoughts about the setting I’ve been getting down today, so I’m going to continue on with that.

Anyone have suggestions for naming a walled-city after the world ends?

Primary Concerns (Or What You Give Your Time To)

So, my writing has been slipping, as usual.  But I think I figured out why:  writing is a me thing. It’s something I do just for me.  That means that I feel like other things are more important than writing, because those other things have value to other people.  Make sense?  Example:  school is important to me, but other people also see it as important, therefore it takes precedence over writing, even when I’m caught up on school stuff and have the time to write. Obviously, I need to train my brain to view writing as a primary concern.

I didn’t come to this realization on my own.  I am taking Holly Lisle’s How to Motivate Yourself class, and this is the point of lesson one.  I’ve read through this lesson twice, and it’s just now starting to sink in.

So what am I going to do about this mindset of mine?  Change it.  The first way I’m going to do that is by putting writing first, literally. Instead of doing my homework first on my days off, I’m going to get in my page goals.  First part of the day = writing , writing = most important thing.

I’m not sleeping much, so I have plenty of time to put this plan into action.  And I’m going to continue to work through this class, too, and see what else I can overcome.

Write on.

Happiness Is…Words on Paper

You know what’s awesome?  Writing.

Do you know how long it’s been since I wrote anything besides random emails and interminable school papers?  At least three months.

Do you know how happy writing again makes me?  Extremely.

Granted, I didn’t write much.  But school started again this week, and I decided that, in addition to my piles of school work ( I feel like a fifth year at Hogwarts), I would make time for writing.  And blogging.  No exceptions.  No more procrastinating.  Just me and my characters and heaps of trouble.

And you know what?  Once I made myself start, it felt fantastic!  I’ve missed writing so much.  I can never not write this long again.  It’s unacceptable.

How else am I going to capture the magic around me, if I don’t write?  Besides, I have to keep my characters safe from the zombies.

 

NaNo Wishes

It’s November.  Not a news flash, I know.  But if you’re a writer, you might know this month better as National Novel Writing Month, or NaNo.  If you don’t know, NaNo is all about writing a complete, 50,000-word novel in 30 days.

The first novel I ever completed was my first year doing NaNo.  I’ll never forget the rush, the thrill of knowing I was writing alongside thousands of other writers all over the world.  That alone was inspiration enough, but if my motivation ever flagged or I had questions, the forums were a fantastic place to go find it again or find answers.  I didn’t finish that novel in November, but I finished it just a few weeks later.  Since then, I’ve honestly forgotten how many times I’ve done–and “won”–NaNo, but I think it’s at least four (For the record, at least twice I wrote 100,000 words during NaNo.  Yes, I’m a masochist.  And clearly insane.  I have papers.)  I was even wearing my NaNo shirt when I met Laurell K. Hamilton, and she asked me about it because she’d never heard of it.

I haven’t done NaNo for the last…um, four years, I think.  Because of school mainly.  I can only juggle so much, and what amounts to two full-time jobs keeps me pretty busy.  I haven’t even found time to write a single page in weeks, much less around 1,700 words a day.  (There isn’t enough caffeine in the world to keep me awake for all that.)  But in early October, when I remembered it was almost time for NaNo, I was tempted.  Oh, so very tempted.  Fortunately, common sense prevailed.  I have a little.  And, in the face of working 3 11-16-hour days a week, plus 2 8-or-so-hour days doing homework, and crazy busy weekends filled with half-marathon training…Yeah, common sense sucks, but it was right.

But I’d like to wish everyone doing NaNo lots of luck (and caffeine).  If you are so fortunate, I’d really like to hear about how well it’s going.

Writing Inspiration

Sometimes, I just need a little inspiration to get my butt in the chair and my fingers on the keys (Actually, judging from my complete lack of writing lately, I apparently also need to be chained to the chair, but that’s another story.). Reading other writers’ posts that are inspiring, usually snaps me out of whatever funk I’m in. With that in mind, here are three great posts from writers that have me eager to get back to work.

Here’s one from Raymond on Writing in a Dead World:  Deleting the Best Part of You.

One from Shannon A. Thompson:  Writing is Misery.

And one from Christian Milan:  Are Writers Crazy?

Check them out, even if you don’t need writing inspiration.

Decisions, Decisions

In my Creative Writing class, the reading assignment for next week is about Revision. Revision is not my favorite part of the writing process. It is, quite possibly, my least favorite. (Okay, perhaps tied with writing the first sentence, but that’s a whole other phobia…) Revising is hard work. Sometimes I can see what needs re-worked right away. Sometimes I might as well be trying to read it in Braille or Swahili, for all the sense it makes to me (I speak /read neither, by the way). I know revising is necessary, that it is essentially where the magic happens, but I don’t really enjoy it or anticipate it.

That being said, while I was reading about revising, all I could think about—all the Muse could think about—was the werewolf story. I love the characters in that story, the world, the conflict, everything about it. The writing is done. It’s even been revised (once). But it could use some more work, some fresh eyes. I’m wondering if the Muse is trying to tell me something. Perhaps I should put in a little bit of revision time on this story, as well as drafting The Fall? (And it would only be a little bit of time, because that’s all I have to give.)

I could do it. Maybe only an hour a week, but I could. Then I could start writing the next one…ah. Delusions of grandeur are on the agenda today, I see. Considering my weekly writing goal for The Fall is two measly pages, and I’m doing good to hit that, now I’m mentally gearing up to write something else. I really have to stop trying to do too much.

What do you think? Add a small bit of revision into the mix, or stick with just writing for now?

Feelings of Inadequacy

When I’m writing, I have this wonderful, magical story in my head. The characters are fantastic. The conflict is intense. The world is beautiful (or at least beautifully realized). When I sit down and put my thoughts on paper, though…it’s just not.

Yes, I know it’s just first draft, and that revisions are for making it pretty and shiny. But I still want to capture the essence of that vision I can see in my head. This failure to adequately portray the true beauty of the story makes me feel inadequate, and induces what I can only call writer’s block. If I don’t write it, I’m not failing my vision of the story. Therefore, it’s safer not to write. Obviously…

Except, you can’t edit a blank page. You also can’t read it, but that’s another thing. No one can appreciate the beauty—or the humor or the wonder—of a story that hasn’t been written, a character that hasn’t spoken, or a world that hasn’t been explored. So not-writing kills the story entirely, takes away the character’s breath, poisons the world.

Do you want to be responsible for that? No? Then write.