Category: real life

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

Okay, so this isn’t actual PANTS on fire, but still.
(Photo courtesy of Dave R. Farmer, via WANA Commons on Flickr)

Fair warning: this may be a lengthy rant. Also, I’m still a little angry.

Why do people lie? Seriously, isn’t it easier to tell the truth, or at the very least, not tell a falsehood? I don’t like liars. I never have. I’m not claiming to be perfect, or saying I’ve never lied (obviously, THAT would be a lie), but I DO try very hard not to lie. It makes me uncomfortable. And when people lie to me, it makes me angry. Very angry.

One particular instance that happened this week stands out. Background info: I work full-time and go to school full-time. About two months ago, I got it approved that when school started, I would only be working three days a week. Fast forward to this past Wednesday: I come back from a week off to find that the new schedule has me working four days a week. Apparently, my new boss won’t approve it. I was angry, but I decided to talk to her about it.

Now, I already knew that the scheduler had spent some time trying to convince her to approve it, and I already knew that our schedule was late being posted because the new boss had to approve it, so when she lied to me TWICE in the space of two minutes, I almost lost it. I asked her about the issue. She said, “Oh, I think mentioned that to me.” (Lie #1: I already KNOW she did. She’s awesome. She’s on top of these things.). Okay, is there anything you can do about it? I really need that to be my schedule. “I haven’t even seen the staff’s schedule, so I’ll take a look at it and get back to you.” (Lie #2, since I KNOW you had to approve the schedule, which means you had to see it.). I did not, however, lose my temper right then. I calmly told her that I needed to know something in the next couple of days, since school started in a week, and that if it couldn’t be worked out, I would be looking for a new job.

She did ask me if I’d be willing to commit to ONE 4-day week a month. I said yes, but that’s all I’ve heard from her. And on reflection…do I really want to trust the word of someone who has already proven herself to be a liar? I don’t think so. So I’m already looking for a new job. The good news is, I’m certified in a field where 3-day workweeks are relatively common, so I don’t think I’ll have a problem finding something else. (But wish me luck!)

It would have been simpler for her to say, “You know what? I’m aware of the situation. I looked at the schedule, but it’s just not possible.” I would have respected her, even if I were still angry. Now I don’t even have respect for her.

Another example: two years ago, I started dating someone. It was casual for a few months, but then it wasn’t. After a while, he started getting really busy all the time, and I rarely saw him. When I did, he was always really apologetic, and always said how much he missed me, asked me to be patient with his busy schedule a little bit longer (I’m an idiot. I know that…). After a couple of months of this, we split up because he thought one of my friends was interfering when she told him to stop treating me like crap. I found out about three weeks later that he’d been dating someone else for a couple of months and was ENGAGED to her! And he still had the BALLS to tell me, when I called him on it: “I never cheated on you, and I never lied to you.” REALLY? You also never mentioned YOUR FIANCEE!

Again, I would have respected him if he’d told me he met someone else and wanted to break things off. It wasn’t that serious. I’d still have been mad, but I wouldn’t now think he’s a complete and total douchebag. Which I do. Among other things…

Here’s another example:
Lie: Miley Cyrus’s fiancé: “Honey, your new haircut looks fantastic!”
Not-a-lie: Miley Cyrus’s fiancé: Honey, you cut your hair!

See the difference there? The second one is true. It doesn’t hurt anyone’s feelings. It doesn’t make you look like a total a**hat. Is it really too much to ask that people be honest with each other? Things would be so much simpler!

/end of rant

Paying it Forward

I’ve been nominated for two awards: the Reader Appreciation Award and the Beautiful Blogger award. Awesome, right? It’s not the Nobel Prize or anything, but I’m super excited about it (thank you, Candace Knoebel).

As part of the deal, I have to give you seven facts about myself, so here goes:

1) I’m a pescatarian. (This means the only meat I eat is seafood. For like 5 years now, although bacon is still really tempting sometimes…)

2) I have six tattoos. (Yes, only six. For now…)

3) I’m going to school for environmental biology (or, as everyone always asks “So you want to save the world?” Yes….)

4) I save all the fortunes out of my fortune cookies. Don’t ask me why..

5) I’ve lived in Texas most of my life, but New Orleans is my favorite city ever (and I lived just outside it for two years. Awesome.)

6) Ireland and Costa Rica top the list of Places I Want to Visit.

7) I’d really, really like to learn either Japanese or Gaelic. Not sure why, as there’s not a big demand for either in Texas…

I also get to nominate seven other deserving bloggers, so here they are: Ruth Ellen Parlor; JM Randolph, accidentalstepmom; bottledworder; Albert Berg; Lori Dyan, Stuart A. Etter; and Fiction Fanatic.

Maybe the Muse is Here to Stay

I’ve been pretty consistent with the writing the past few weeks. My weekly word count goal has been 10k, and I’ve hit it all but one week out of the last three (and that week I wrote 7k, still not too shabby). I was getting a little off-track with Calder, but I did some brainstorming on Sunday, and I think I have a better grip on where things are going. I haven’t done any more outlining, but I do have a brief synopsis of the rest of the story.

My co-author and I have also started working on the zombie story again. Right now, I’m in the re-reading-because-it’s-been-so-long-I’ve-forgotten-what-we-wrote stage. The story is sitting at around 100k, and it’s all but finished, but it needs a lot of work, I’m not going to lie. We’re currently doing a lot of emailing back and forth about what works and what doesn’t, and I think we’re going to change the whole thing to rotating first-person POV. I’m also going to need someone with some military experience to read over my chapters (while not laughing at what I’m quite sure I got wrong), and give me some feedback. At the very least, killing people/zombies on the page as gruesomely as possible is always entertaining.

I also finally, finally started revising the werewolf story. It’s taken me almost a year to get my head straight enough to revise this story, but I’m so glad I finally got it together. I love this story. I really do. And with my editor’s suggestions, I’m hoping to make it the best I possibly can. And maybe self-publish it…

Too bad I can’t get my “real” life to go so well…

Are Writers Responsible to their Readers?

This topic came up recently in my crit group, and it made me think. In this case, the person who asked the question had seen a lot of comments online about the Game of Thrones TV series, and how, since George R.R. Martin wrote about certain things, this made him a pedophile and a rapist. Apparently, some people think that since he writes about such things, that means he’s endorsing them. Let me say first of all that I haven’t read any of these comments myself. I’m sure they’re out there; that seems like something people would take offense at. I just haven’t seen them personally. But this idea, that writing about something means that I’m endorsing it…that bothers me on a lot of levels.

As a writer, I do think I have a responsibility to my readers. I have a responsibility to be true to my story, my characters, and the world I’ve set up. I’m responsible for writing the best, most entertaining story I possibly can. For getting my readers’ emotions involved, for making them laugh or cry or roll their eyes or growl in anger. For creating characters that they can care about. But most of all, for telling the truest story possible. Notice I didn’t say “for telling the happiest, most fluffy-bunny, sunshine, and unicorns story possible.” No. The truest story.

That does not mean all my stories have to have happy endings, although personally, I prefer them. (Just because I prefer them, doesn’t mean my characters will deliver.) This also does not mean that things that are ugly or painful or horrible will never happen to my characters. I’ve written about murder, and rape, and torture. These things happen in real life each and every day, how can they not happen in my fictional worlds as well? I don’t live in Utopia. Or Shangri La. Bad stuff happens. It happens to good people. It happens whether or not people deserve it. It happens. Just because I write about it, that doesn’t mean I endorse it.

If writing about something means the author endorses is, does that mean that someone writing about the movie theatre shooting in Aurora, CO last week is endorsing violent shooting sprees? I think not. Does that mean that since James Cameron destroyed Hometree in Avatar, he is endorsing the destruction of the rainforest? No. (Actually, I think he’s trying to do the exact opposite.) So what makes some people think that just because a writer writes about something, that must mean the writer is endorsing it?

I’ve never actually met George R.R. Martin, but I think it’s highly unlikely that he’s a huge supporter of rape, pedophilia, or public beheadings. I mean, seriously, people? He writes fiction. Which, by definition, deals with events that are not factual. Not to say that they don’t happen, but the author does not claim to be writing about actual events (unless the writer happens to be James Frey. In which case the definition of fiction is somewhat…skewed.).

So…just how responsible are writers to their readers?

Fighting the urge to procrastinate–or maybe it’s just laziness

I’m a writer. I…write. Except, for that last year and a half, I haven’t written much of anything. Sure, I’ve been working and going to school, but there’s been a fair amount of time wasted watching stupid stuff on TV, playing Words with Friends, being nosy on Facebook, and then there’s Pinterest. My God, the time-wasting potential of Pinterest! Hours gone in the blink of an eye, and nothing to show for it but an odd collection of funny pics and inspiring quotes. (Which are, apparently, not very inspiring, since I STILL didn’t get started writing.)

So. I need help. Over the last week or so, I’ve slowly started writing again, to the tune of 1,000 or so words a day. When I was writing regularly, 3-5,000 words a day was not unusual for me, and it seemed almost effortless. Now…well, the Muse is willing, but the body is weak and the mind is easily distracted. (“Hey, I haven’t checked Facebook in the last 5 minutes. Maybe something new is going on…”) Does anyone have suggestions for keeping writing motivation up? I want to write. I love to write. I have a thousand stories and characters in my head that want to get out, but somehow, I have to force myself to sit down at the computer and open the manuscript. And if I don’t write, then a nagging sense of guilt and discontent follows me around for the rest of the day.

So. Suggestions, anyone? Any little tips you use to keep your butt in the chair and your fingers on the keys? Right now, tying myself to the chair is starting to seem like a viable option…although getting OUT of it might be a bit tricky.

How Cool is This? (Yes, I’m a Star Wars nerd…get over it.)

I’ve been so busy with school the last few weeks, I haven’t really had time to even check my email, but I had to check out this link: a Tatooine planet? Pretty cool, huh? Okay, so it’s uninhabitable and like a billion light years from Earth, but still awesome. And now I’m going back to do homework…and daydream about double sunsets.

Horror Movie Monster….

Hydrothermal worm, courtesy of FEI and Philippe Crassous

…or not. This is actually an electron microscope picture of a hydrothermal worm. This morning, while I was procrastinating doing some research, I stumbled on this, and almost fell out of my chair. Wow! Has George Lucas seen this, because it looks like something out of Star Wars! Just sayin’ Pretty cool pic, though. Would be far more useful if I wrote SF.

And if you’re really looking for ways to procrastinate or, alternately, actually doing research, check out ARKive. The site is filled with tons of gorgeous pictures in the organization’s effort to photograph every species on Earth. Awesome mission.

ABC’s….sorta

I wish I had something terribly profound to say about writing (or really, about anything) today, but I don’t. I’m tired. I have a lot going on. I’m a little bit stressed. I have a lot on my mind. It’s hot. My new tattoos are itching and it’s driving me crazy. (Profound thoughts: I have none. Excuses: I have many.)

Writing means different things to different people. (And by “writing” I mean actually writing. By hand.) For some, it’s a necessary evil. For others, it’s just necessary. For me….well…it depends on what I’m writing. Grocery list, To-Do’s, definitely handwritten. Novel-planning, plotting, and brainstorming, are all done by hand, as is journaling. I think the physical act of writing ideas down links things together in my brain and allows me to make connections I wouldn’t have otherwise.

First drafts are computer-drafted, as are most forms of my communication (email, Facebook, texting). I am making an effort to handwrite letters, though. It’s just more personal. It does seem a little bit odd that the main creative portion of my writing (the “planning” stage, if you will), is something that I have to do by hand, but the actual writing is always on the computer. Hmmm…..

But I think handwriting is a skill everyone needs. Check out this link: Is Cursive Obsolete? What do you think? Is it obsolete?

Cutting Myself a Break

Well. For this week, anyway. Having not made much (or really, any) progress on revisions in the last month, I decided to officially give myself the week off (thereby getting rid of the associated guilt over not revising). I’m moving next weekend, and of course, there are approximately 7,001 things that need to be done before then. So, a hiatus. From revisions, anyway.

I still intend to do a bit of brainstorming and outlining on the DOTD story. Just enough to keep my momentum up, anyway. Apart from that, my plan for the week is to take care of real-life stuff, read a bit, and try not to stress about anything (mainly work). There’s plenty of time for that next week…

Procrastination…I Have It

Badly. In fact, so badly, it’s probably Stage IV. Seriously. It’s a struggle to make myself do homework, much less anything else! I have a daily planner that I fill out religiously (and with much detail) every week. This week, I’m maybe getting 50% of my to-do lists done. Not for lack of time. I’ve only worked one day since Saturday (Sad, I know. I should be ashamed to even write that…). It’s just complete and total lack of motivation.

At least I got my homework done (until Sunday, anyway). With only two more weeks in the summer semester, falling behind isn’t a good idea. But I have a writing project that needs outlined, and I need to finish a revision and start another one. Not to mention getting started on my certification at work…Can I get a couple of days with 48 hours in them, please?

Anyone have any tricks for overcoming procrastination? I’d really appreciate them…when I get around to implementing them, anyway.