Tag: conundrum

Feelings of Inadequacy

When I’m writing, I have this wonderful, magical story in my head. The characters are fantastic. The conflict is intense. The world is beautiful (or at least beautifully realized). When I sit down and put my thoughts on paper, though…it’s just not.

Yes, I know it’s just first draft, and that revisions are for making it pretty and shiny. But I still want to capture the essence of that vision I can see in my head. This failure to adequately portray the true beauty of the story makes me feel inadequate, and induces what I can only call writer’s block. If I don’t write it, I’m not failing my vision of the story. Therefore, it’s safer not to write. Obviously…

Except, you can’t edit a blank page. You also can’t read it, but that’s another thing. No one can appreciate the beauty—or the humor or the wonder—of a story that hasn’t been written, a character that hasn’t spoken, or a world that hasn’t been explored. So not-writing kills the story entirely, takes away the character’s breath, poisons the world.

Do you want to be responsible for that? No? Then write.

Is This “Working”?

So, I may not have instant Internet access (and probably won’t for several more months—UGH), but I do occasionally get the chance for perusal of blogs and writers’ sites. I’ve noticed something a few times lately, and it’s made me wonder: a Donation Button (i.e. a “please give me money” link).

I don’t recall having seen these before the past couple of months. It caught my eye, along with the number of people who seem to be making a living from blogging, which is intriguing to me. I’m not sure how I feel about asking for monetary support, even though saying “buy my book” is more or less the same thing, albeit you get something in return with that transaction.

I’m of two minds about this. On the one hand, it’s not easy to make a living as a writer (or to make any kind of money at all). Writing is hard, and in the era of self-publishing, the market is crowded with everything from utter rubbish to absolute gems, with no way to sort through the dross. E-books are generally cheaper than “real” books, so a high price means just that many more cheaper books to take away the earning potential of your book. The phrase “starving writer” is probably just as true now—if not more so—than it ever has been. And writers need to eat. Just because we’re artists doesn’t mean we get to ignore the mundane in favor of the magic.

On the other hand, well…seriously? Asking people to give you money and get nothing in return? It seems like asking for a handout, and with the number of people undeservedly on government support (the ones who are totally capable of working but who are LAZY!), do we really need to encourage people to ask for handouts? We’re already fostering an attitude of entitlement. If people need help, we should give it to them. But if they’re merely asking for help in the interest of not working…I’m not a supporter of that. (and I’m not saying writing isn’t working, because it definitely is.)

What are your thoughts on this? Give, don’t give, do away with the “donate” button entirely?

 

 

Overcoming Inertia…or Fear

I want to start writing again.  I haven’t written anything–apart from a handful of blog posts–in six months.  I want to.  I’m just…scared.  My world is not what it was six months ago.  I’ve changed a lot.  I almost died.  Rediscovered my purpose.  Decided to link my dreams with that purpose.  I’m actively taking steps to make both dream and purpose a reality.  I’m changing schools and majors (two of those steps).  And my writing is another one of those steps.

But starting to write again is scary.  Coming up with an idea worthy of all my changes is intimidating.   And the thought of failing is terrifying.  Which leaves me mentally–and creatively–paralyzed.

Any ideas to get back on the horse again, so to speak?

 

 

Taking a day off

…is hard for me.  I try to do too much.  I know this, but I continue to do it anyway, until I’m so mentally and physically exhausted that I just can’t take it anymore.  I’m tired today.  So tired.  I need to write, revise, blog…but I’m tired.  So I’m giving myself permission to NOT do anything constructive (much) for the rest of the day.  I’m going to do this:

relax

…while wishing I was here:

sigh

 

Otherwise, I’m afraid I’ll burn out.

Does this count as “work”?

So…after being told repeatedly by several people that I needed to watch The Walking Dead because it is, apparently, the greatest show ever, I finally ordered the first season on DVD. It came in today. Now I’m faced with a conundrum: stare at the blank page of my new story, or this:

like a boss

This is a really tough choice, isn’t it? Yeah, RIGHT. So, since I’m obviously not going to be staring at the blank page, my next question is this: does watching I-don’t-know-how-many-episodes of The Walking Dead count as “writing”? Not actual writing, clearly, but research for writing? I mean, my best friend and I DID write that zombie story. And my new story DOES have zombies in it….So. Clearly this is writing-related. Win!